It’s scary how I can change my mind in a blink of an eye.
So I thought maybe, you are the one that can save and fix me. I allowed you to come in, I opened a little. But then, to my surprise, this is not what I want. You were not it.
I thought I was ready, I thought this was easy. I am not ready. You are not it. You are the total opposite of him. That should be a good thing.
I don’t feel it when I’m with you. I should be happy, you say the nicest things. Things that no one has ever said to me. I thought I wanted that. I don’t feel it when I’m with you.
I don’t feel infinite when I’m with you. I don’t feel the way I felt when I was with him. I don’t know if I can ever feel the same way again. I don’t know if I can ever be fixed.
I don’t know.
I thought I wanted to change. I thought you made me want to change. But now I realize, I don’t want to change just yet.
Not for you. Not yet.